A living map for parts work

Your parts, on one map.

Each card holds a pair — the that steps in, and the it shields — together with your letter to them. Card by card, the map grows.

Start your map

Your map, your cards are yours — review, keep, or delete anything, anytime.

The app does not hand you insights about yourself. It slows you down and holds the structure so you can reach your own. You do the work. It holds the map.

What you leave with

One card. Two parts. Your letter.

You write a short letter to the younger you underneath it. This is the heart of it.

Loose Boundaries Kid

sensitive

Age: 5
Feelings: Fear of causing someone pain, fear of being blamed, sadness, a sense of being unsafe around someone else’s upset mood or the potential of such a situation.
The situation that shaped this part: Watching his father come home and blame his mother for something small, like there being no potatoes in the soup, while his mother absorbed the blame instead of asserting her own tiredness and limits. I saw father being upset at home and blaming everyone around him for doing something wrong.
What it lacked (wanted but didn’t get): To know he wasn’t responsible for other people’s emotions. To know it’s okay for people around him to be upset, and that it doesn’t mean he did something wrong. To feel safe, loved, and approved of regardless of timing or performance.
How the protector “helps” it: The Perfect One rehearses and prepares carefully to avoid causing upset, offering a sense of control — but it never actually gives him the knowledge that others’ feelings aren’t his to carry, so the old fear stays alive.
How the grown-up self can encourage a new response: When I am brave and I keep myself grounded even when someone is/might be upset, I can buy myself something sweet.

The Perfect One

protector

Age: 5
Sensations: Tightness in the chest, tension in the face, racing heart
Feelings: Fear of making someone mad or sad, fear of being hated, anger, bitterness
Thoughts: If I tell her, she’ll be mad at me, or she’ll be really sad and I’ll have taken happiness from her life. If I don’t rehearse carefully, I’ll come across as rude and I’ll hate myself. Approval only comes if everything is done perfectly. If someone around him is upset, it must be his fault — and he’ll be punished for it.
Behavior: (Mild activation) Rehearses carefully what to say before delivering hard or uncomfortable news, anticipating and preparing for how the other person will react. (When activated a lot) Rushes — even when there’s no real threat. Moves fast to make sure everything is executed perfectly. Stays on constant watch to prevent the sensitive part from being blamed or attacked for something going “wrong” even when there’s no real threat present.
What it protects against: Causing someone pain and being blamed for their upset — echoing watching his mother absorb blame for his father’s feelings. A father-shaped threat — being caught under an upset father’s gaze and punished for it. Keeps the sensitive part from ever being exposed to criticism or attack again.

The letter to Loose Boundaries Kid

“Hi love, I am so sorry you needed to witness the situation where father was blaming mom for his feelings while mom was taking responsibility for that. Oh love. I know how it feels. But this is wrong. You don’t need to feel responsible for other people’s emotions. I am here to protect you. You can be sure that I will love you no matter what others think about you. No matter how others feel about what you say to them. Our parents’ dynamic depends on not having boundaries. I believe that mom had every right to feel her feelings and be assertive in terms of what she can and will give to father. I allow you to be assertive, to be brave. I will help you to defend your boundaries.”

Disconfirming evidenceA moment the old belief didn’t hold

Usually, when I am around friends, I am constantly scanning my surroundings, trying to please everyone who is important to me, because I believe that if I cause any pain by being authentic, I will be blamed and excluded from the group. But today, when I woke up at a campsite, I did some regulating exercises, got grounded, and managed to be present and authentic around my friends who woke up later.

A real card from a real session — the author’s own. Your parts and your words will be entirely your own.

Add a photograph of yourself at the age the part remembers. The map stops being an idea and becomes someone you recognise.

Two ways in

Start from the card itself. If you already know your parts, fill the card in the way you would a worksheet — your words, your pace. It grows into your map.

Or take it one question at a time. When you’re not sure what’s underneath, guided questions help you find the reaction that took over — with examples to recognise yourself in, not blank fields. Everything on the card stays in your own words.

See it happen

One question at a time.

A real session, start to finish, played back at reading pace.

Examples to recognise yourself in. Not blank fields.

Not knowing is allowed. The pace stays in your hands.

You write the letter. It is saved next to your part.

A real session

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Hi. Before we begin: this is a reflection tool, not therapy — if anything feels too intense, we can pause or stop at any time. When you're ready: think of a recent situation where you felt tension, defensiveness, or a pull to shut down. What was happening?

e.g. a tense conversation, a piece of feedback, a moment you felt criticised or dismissed.

A complete session, start to finish, shared by the author. Your conversation and your words would be entirely your own.

Why the card is the point

The insight fades by next week. The card doesn’t. Next time that same reaction takes over, you don’t start from nothing — the card names what is happening while it is happening, and holds the words you already found, ready to read back.

Keep an account and each session adds another pair, until you can see the handful of patterns behind most of your hard moments — and write to them again whenever you need to.

What this is

A map that grows if you keep an account.
A record of what you shared, with your letter kept in your own words.
Structured reflection, one question at a time.

What this isn’t

A chatbot for open conversation.
Therapy, or a substitute for a therapist.
Analysis or interpretation of you.
Advice.